Sunday, August 22, 2010

PLEASE HELP ME! I need advice! I dont know what to do... I feel so betrayed. 10 POINTS FOR BEST ADVICE!?

My best friend is friends with this guy, who she talks about all the time. She's always telling me how she THINKS she likes him, and doesn't wanna go out with him. But then the next thing I know shes telling me how much she likes him! I know its a bit confusing... but help me with this part.... Our school is hosting a ski trip soon and a trip to New York, which we planned to sit beside eachother on the bus to the New York and the ski trip. Also, we planned to hang out there most of the time together, since we're best friends. But today she told me that her and THIS GUY are sitting beside eachother on the bus to the ski trip and their gonna be with eachotehr there all the time! And then she tells me that she's gonna be going to all these malls and parks with him at New York, which she planned to do with ME! And when I reminded her that she even asked ME to do that with her in the first place, shes like... 'wtf, do you didn't?' I GOT SO MAD! I feel so used. What do I do? Please help :'(PLEASE HELP ME! I need advice! I dont know what to do... I feel so betrayed. 10 POINTS FOR BEST ADVICE!?
First, I don't know how old you are but please listen to me. I feel you are young, not immature but need to learn this because I learned it in my 30s (unfortunately; years spent hurting myself when I could have been happy; alone).





I have had a lot of associates and friends. Sometimes I thought that my associates were my friends. Unfortunately, they did not feel for me the way I felt for them. No relationships are ever one hundred percent.





I got into the biggest dispute one day at work (in my 40s) about someone who I felt was using others. I actually put myself on the limb to open other's eyes (the people she was using and bullied) to not be dependent on others. It did not work because they stayed around this bully even more. All my sympathy and hard work to prove a dynamic point was never looked upon. Instead, I carried that embarrassment for people who never saw it. I have been so in love with people who could care less about me. I learned a valuable lesson to make life ALL ABOUT ME. This does not mean that I am telling you to be a selfish fool. I have been the co-singner for people for cars and they turned around and cursed me out because I confronted them about the first payment being late on their behalf. Yet, I was the only person who cared about that person having a way to work so they would not get fired.


I have made my health bad trying to get love from someone who did not love me back or did not care as much.





What I am saying is to live your life and do not depend on others to ever make you happy (you will fall flat on your face; it's like depending on a broken cane; disappointment the majority, if not all of the time).





Go to the skiing trip anyway and have a good time. If you can't find a friend to be with you take enough things to entertain you while you are on the trip. My best friend in the office when this person was being cruel to me was my headphones (now they are using IPODs; take one with you). You don't stop living because a friend has a bf. You cannot control her life or change what she is doing; it's her life. However, you can change the way you will conduct yourself on this trip. Start now with changing your behavior and expectations of her because she is a friend but not your Jesus. When He leaves then you have a problem.





Don't go with an attitude either because you will not enjoy your trip. Although you don't feel like it now, forgive her so you can enjoy the trip. People do get bfs/gfs but that's life and get over those feelings now and let this be a learning process - independency. We all need friends and relationships but it has to be a two-way deal. I have learned the hard way that we cannot control people; even if we feel we are right. You can express to her though respectively that you were looking forward to the both of you being together.





I didn't do well in college because my mother had died. My friends that had problems did not wait for encouragement from others or stop living because there was a lack of. I on the other hand grew weary because no one supported me; I saw others with all the support. Then I had other friends that have been like me - alone; orphaned or fostered and made it. I wish they had been there to be role models for me because they are in positions that I have wanted but I stopped because there was no one to support me. One of my friends said that she did not need anyone to do that; she made up in her mine to be determined and made it to be a nurse. I'm still trying to get there.





I am saying all of this to say this one thing: When you have no one to encourage (or be with you) YOU encourage YOURSELF (even if you do it alone; for He is always with you).PLEASE HELP ME! I need advice! I dont know what to do... I feel so betrayed. 10 POINTS FOR BEST ADVICE!?
sedel down and think this over a few times if you want to talk about it more email me.
Here is my advice: grow up
well most likely she likes him and if they go out and spends more time with him then her BEST friend then shes not really your best friend.


find someone else.


forget her.


Once he breaks her heart shes gonna be running back to u
well shes a douche bag! you are way better than her, have fun with out her, make sure she knows your having a blast out there too, than she'll feel left out. ignore her the whole time, itll make her feel like crap... ahh sweet revenge
i agree, that is selfish of her to plan to do things with you and once she gets a guy to ex you out of the equation. im sorry to say this but you are right you have been used and that is not fair to you. she should spend time with him but she should spend some of the time she planned to spend with you...with you. its only fair. besides when its over between them she is gonna want your shoulder to lean on
That definitely sucks, unfortunately you have to just let it go..this kinda of stuff has happened to me lots of times! Just find some one else to hang with. NY sounds fun! you shouldn't let this ruin your trip because she acted like a total jerk. Make the best of it :)
You're going to have to face it, one day you two will not be as close and it will have a lot to do with the fact that you'll want to spend more time with a special someone-else in your life. Dont worry though, relationships go in cycles, this guy will eveuntally not be as important to her and you two will hang out more. Now is the time to look into branching out and having other friends to lean on while she's in her little ';love trance'; but you can't necessarily judge because I assure you'll do the same thing to her one of these days.


We all say we wont, but we all do.
dont let her ruin your trip....if you guys are really best friends then you two will work things out....in the mean time you should find a friend or special someone to spend this trip with...i know it will be hard but why let one person ruin a trip that sounds really fun....in order to work things out though one of you have to talk to each other sometime.
just tell her how you feel and ask her if all three of you could hang out sometime at New York.
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