My ex was moving to Orlando and he convinced me, pressured me, into having sex with him. This was the only first and last time this happened and it is now the biggest regret in my life...and I have a lot of things to regret.
I try not to think about it, but of course, it's always in the back of my mind. I would literally give a limb off of my body to take it back and I hate myself for this. I'm not a bad person and it wasn't like me to have done something like that. So I ended up falling for this guy that I really didn't think it would work out with and we've even made plans for the future together. I love my boyfriend beyond words, he's shown me what real love is and with him I know he'll never hurt me. He's practically the perfect guy, you could say.
But I can't take constantly crying over this everytime I think about it, which is often. I want to tell him, but I don't even want to imagine my life without him. Being the type of guy he is, I'm almost sure he wouldn't leave me but how I don't know how I could handle not having his trust or having him think that I don't truely love him like I do. I don't know how I could handle hurting him that bad...
My question is what is your best advice for me to do? How should I confront this? I'm so lost, and I need help.
I'd prefer someone who has had experience in this area or someone who won't be rude and judgemental to answer me...I already know how much of a horrible thing this is that I've done.Relationship issue...PLEASE read and give me your best advice, I'm desperate...?
If your new boyfriend really is the perfet guy you say, He will understand. Like you said you were pressured and he was your 1st everything, As women we always seem to have a weak spot for those men in our lives.
I can understand how you feel, Because you feel caught in the middle. If you tell him, You know you'll hurt him and if you don't, You'll feel your hiding something and not sharing all of you with him.
This can be a scary situation for you. Considering how you're crying over it you obviously really love him, And I don't think you want to spend the rest of your life with him hiding this. Especially because you never know if maybe, Just maybe years down the road he'll find out and be even more hurt. The sooner you tell him the better.
Just make sure when you do tell him, You do it in person and make sure you explain the whole situation and that you didn't want to hide this from him. You want him to be able to trust you, That's why you told him.
Be prepared though, He may be hurt for awhile and may even storm off. Give him time and hopefully everything will turn out ok of you's really love eachother.
Don't forget only you can decide whether or not to tell him.
Good Luck Hun, I hope everything turns out for the best.Relationship issue...PLEASE read and give me your best advice, I'm desperate...?
do you still have feelings for your ex after that experience? if so then you need to confront your ex about what he did, it will make you feel better for trying, no matter the response you get form him, hell, even vent on him if you want.
next, you go to your boyfriend (current) and when you are in the right mood, talking seriously, tell him about your past experience and if your current boyfriend loves you then he will understand what pain you've been through and thank you for being truthful with him, even if he initially doesn't say or show he does.
do all this and you will feel like you have an enormous weight off your shoulders. good luck :)
The reason you feel bad about it is because you have a conscience, which is a good thing, and unless you are willing and able to lose it you will continue to feel bad about your actions. So not telling him is not an option. Tell him you need to tell him something. Tell him how much you care about him and you want your relationship to be based on honesty and trust and you did something immature. Tell him that when you first started dating, before you realized how much you loved him and were still confused about your breakup, you had a one night stand with your ex. Do not go into the detail above about how he was your first love, kiss, he pressured you,ect. They sound like excuses and will make the whole thing sound 20 times worse. You need to take responsibility for your actions. You did it, you wish you didn't, you love him now, and you want to be honest. Tell him how you know it was a stupid thing you did but that you will never do anything to hurt him and you want him to know he can trust you to be loyal to him and you're sorry it took so long to tell him but you didn't know what to say and that you are telling him now because you know it will stand in the way of your relationship going forward. One of two things will happen. He will be upset for a time, maybe want to take a break in the relationship, then realize how stupid it is for him to be upset about something you did when you hardly were dating and that he loves you and is glad you were honest, and your relationship will be stronger because he knows that he can trust you. Or, he freaks out says he'll never trust you again and you break up, but if you don't tell him eventually it will cause so much stress between you (and he won't know why) you'll break up anyway. Once you've come clean with him you've done your part. He has to decide what to do with it, but a screw up a month into a relationship shouldn't be a deal breaker. Good luck.
You should first forgive yourself and then not do something like this again. we've learned your lesson,and how you feel.
From a guys point which is hard for a girl to really understand is if another guy touches a girl like sleeping with, the next guy really doesn't want to much to do with the girl. Even though the guy will say he can forgive you and say he'll get past it he really will not. It will always be in the back of his mind and at time this can be nothing but the main focus which will end up ripping up any kind of relationship up.
I would say lesson learned,don't do it again.
Also your young and this at this time might seem like the boy of your dreams..........but again your young and there's many fish in the sea.
Well the best way is like Nk said. whenever your having a serious talk or talking about your past, you can bring that up and let him know how much you have regretted it. and make him understand that your ex meant alot to you n thats y you did it. Let him know that you only love him now. If he really loves you he will understand.
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