Will I regret this 10 points for the best advice. Thank you very much?

I met my true love four years ago (I believe he is my soul mate). We went to the same college. I am Thai and he is American.





I am 22. I am very goal oriented, highly motivated, and persistent. I finished college in 3 years. Thereafter, I got a full scholarship to do a Master Degree. I will finish a Master degree in May 2008.





My love is 24. He is a student marine. This is his last year in undergraduate school. He is very nice and adored me. He plans to go to law school (His father is a lawyer). He is also a college football player. He likes to party and drink. (But---I don't)





We are separated last years because I moved to Washington D.C. I recently asked him to move from P.A. to D.C. He said, ';he is not sure'; Because he want to be the man in the relationship.





My dream is to work for the UN, NGOs, or in Thailand. On the other hand, he wants to be a lawyer in the U.S. We obviously have different goals. I want to scarify my love for my passion. What do you think? Will I regret it?





Thank you.Will I regret this 10 points for the best advice. Thank you very much?
Hi.





I am considerably older than you. I, too, have always been a very goal-oriented, highly motivated woman, with strong interests %26amp; dreams.





I was lucky to find a man who was very agreeable %26amp; flexible. He did not need to try to control me in any way to feel like a ';man.'; He had his interests %26amp; followed his dreams. We were lucky that our dreams allowed us to be together. We have been married for many years.





At times, his job took him away from me 鈥?the longest was three years. His company flew him home 2 weekends out of each month. We spent every evening on the phone.





He was also very supportive of my career. When I wanted to study in Europe for a while, he did not give me a hard time. We love each other %26amp; would do anything for each other, too.





I know, from the many women I have known over the years, that those who sacrificed their dreams for love were very sorry. They had so much regret. The dreams %26amp; ambitions they had were part of them. No one should give up part of themselves for a relationship. There should be a sharing %26amp; a blending of each others' dreams. There will be nothing but regret %26amp; a build-up of resentment over the years. I have seen this many, many times.





Each time I have seen it, it has been the woman who gave up her dreams. Do not give up who you are. Of course, in each relationship there is give %26amp; take; each person will make some sacrifices for the other. However, it should not be a giving up of who you are 鈥?and that is what I'm afraid you are considering.





You first %26amp; foremost need to be true to yourself. If you are not, then you will not be able to maintain love for the other person. You will come to resent him.





You are young, obviously very intelligent, with many opportunities ahead of you.





The person you love should be a part of your life 鈥?he should not BE your life.





If he cannot or will not blend in with what you desire in life, then the relationship is doomed before it really begins. To be a lawyer in Washington D.C. is a great opportunity. He certainly can move there with you. If he refuses, then you can expect no compromise on his part in any aspect of the relationship.





Follow your dreams. You are only 22. It is too early to settle down anyway. You will shortly have your Masters Degree. There is so much for you to do.





At this point, there is passion. Do not mistake that for true love. I am not saying that you do not love him or he you; but things change in the first years of a relationship, especially when 2 people are still in school. Do not make any serious decisions, such as getting married.





Wait until you are out there working. See how that changes you. See what types of people you meet. Your world will be different then. Don't settle down with one man right now, even if you date only him. Make sure the relationship holds fast when you are both working. It may turn out that you are not right for each other. It does happen sometimes. But as painful as that is, it will be a lot worse if you marry %26amp; find out later that you were not right for each other.





Just take it slow. Always be true to yourself. As I said before, there are always sacrifices made by each person in a relationship. But never sacrifice your very self. Do not give up who you are! No one who truly loves you would expect you to give up your dreams.





If he wants to be a lawyer, he is going to be one, regardless of what you want. Shouldn't you have the same rights? Yes, your dreams %26amp; ambitions are equally important. I will repeat myself 鈥?do not sacrifice yourself.





Be true to yourself first 鈥?love will follow, either with this young man or another. But regardless, you will always have to live with you! Make sure you are happy with your life choices.





Women are too often raised to give up everything for men. We do not have to do that. So many women are sorry for doing that, saying they would do things differently if they had the chance. Make your life choices. You will have a man who loves AND respects you, maybe now, maybe later.





I stayed true to myself, to my self. I lost 3 young men who were not respectful of my dreams, my ambitions. But I stayed on my own path. It didn't take long before I met a young man who was also ambitious %26amp; loved %26amp; respected me. He loved how ambitious I was; he was and is proud of me %26amp; my accomplishments. I love %26amp; respect him, too.





I wish you the best of luck in life.Will I regret this 10 points for the best advice. Thank you very much?
Well think about this, following your dream , is not a bad thing, it's a double edge sword though.





You can make the move be with him, and end up being unhappy, because you didn't make the career choices that you really wanted.





However, with that being said. Who's to say, that you end up getting a better job and made the move to be with him and your both together?





If you do end up splitting up , your working for the UN etc.. He does not come, you can end up thinking you made a bad choice. Then one day you meet the man of your dreams who is your co worker. If you didn't follow your dreams you never would have met the person your supposed to be with.








Life is a gamble, I don't believe in soul-mates, I do believe you did find someone who is on the same page as you up to this point , but now your on a cross road.





Some times you have to get through the storm to get where the water is clear.





In the end, I think no matter what you do choose, you can find a way to make things work out. It does not have to be black or white, compromises are a wonderful thing.
You have strong dreams and ambitions. It does not sound like he does.





When one has strong dreams one must follow them or become only a fraction of themselves. If you do not love yourself and what you do, he will not either. It is unfortunate you feel so fond of someone with an incompatible destiny.
It is safer and wiser to seek someone who shares similar goals and desires. Sacrificing your own or expecting someone else to do so is not conducive to a balanced relationship and sooner or later regrets will surface to corrode it. A mature and equally balanced relationship is more likely to grow stronger whereas a sacrificial one is bound to cause resentments.
Please let me share a similar story with you. My son dated a girl he loved and met in undergrad school. She finished early went on to get her PhD in Bio Research, then she went on to medical school. My son, on the other hand, was in Archeology, wanted her to go on to school, but spoke of marriage after she received her first PhD. She is aggressive, spirited, motivated to achieve degrees in various fields, and does want marriage but no children, at least for the time being. They slowly went their separate ways, he has a new girlfriend, she has a new boyfriend. We loved her so much, had pictures of her all over our home of the two of them, but now I must put them away. I feel in my heart, they will someday come back together. Oddly, he received multi master degrees and literally became the golden boy as an investment banker of a major corporation. Life changes on a dime. I believe we are all destined for greatness and success, but are we are able to grab the brass ring once, twice or ? on the merry-go-round of life? I would not make any snap decisions and see where this journey goes. You will know in your heart what road to take when the time comes. No one person can decide for you, only you . . . . . you, can decide.





Blessings
It seems both of you have good dreams in life. I believe if both of you are destined to each other. Then there will be no hindrance that you two will end up together. If the guy is really meant for you, it is the future will tell. Just continue your dreams in life. It is along way for both of you. Make your studies your primary concerns as this will mould your future in life. Don't be in a hurry. Love could wait.





Thanks for asking. Have a great day!
You'll love it
I don't know what 'scarify' means, but it sounds like the 2 of you are very different people. At very different stages of life.





I think the UN or a place like that will be a good place for you to meet someone else, someone who wants the same things you do out of life.
WOW !!! I don't know that anyone would be able to tell you which dream you should persue. That would be a difficult decision for anyone. I'm not sure what moving has to do with being ';the man'; in the relationship,unless he feels that the woman should be subservient and let the man make all the decisions and dictate how you will live etc. etc. I also believe the ';soul mate'; would want what is best for both of you and it would not be just what he wants but what would be best for both of you in the long run.If you are going to sacrifice your goals for your passion I would hope you would take some time to be sure that he is your soul mate before giving up your own dreams. Best of Luck !!!!