What should I do? 10 points for the best advice. Thank you?

I was an exchange student. I used to stay with this lady when I was 17. She was my host mother. She is very nice to me.





She is very messy. I have been tried to clean up her messy house when I visited her. Most of time, she likes and appreciates it. Though, whenever she cannot find something. She blames me for moving her stuffs.





I am living 2 hours away from her. I am busy and don't have time to go to her house and find the stuffs for her.





I am thinking--I will not help her clean her house anymore. I don't want to take the blame.





What do you think? Please advice.What should I do? 10 points for the best advice. Thank you?
There are a couple theories that apply here. She may just want to see you but cannot ask, hence the excuse to clean.


Second, she may be depressed and seeing you helps her cope.


Third, she needs someone to yell at. Misery loves company.


Personally, I would visit her once in a while, according to your schedule but only clean minor things, like dishes and pick up papers.


You will have to be kind but be assertive so you can show her the student is growing and about to move on.What should I do? 10 points for the best advice. Thank you?
You go out to lunch with her. You have a nice conversation and visit with no cleaning and no lost stuff.


You help her find a cleaning company and let them get blamed.


C. :)!!
It is a nice gesture that you tried to clean her house, but if she if blaming you for losing stuff I wouldn't clean anymore.
I think the reason you cleaned her house was that you wanted to help her becuase she's nice.


But part of having friends as you grow up is accepting their differences.


I think it's better if you try to enjoy visiting with her and don't worry about her house.
you were cleaning her house because YOU wanted it clean.


You were thinking it was a nice thing for you to do, she did seem pleased :)


but actually it sounds like she has disorganized organization.She is comfortable that way...so I guess you might be right to just leave things the way they are.


You are thoughtful to remember even as busy as you are... how about coffee at Denny's. You won't be stressing about her mess and she will get a break from her clutter and you will both have a relaxing time catching up :)
if this gets any worse.. u really need 2 talk 2 her.. even if it is super hard... right noe just ask her where 2 put her stuff so she wont get mad @ u.
smart women you are.....don't clean for her anymore. you can go there 1 time to help her find ALL her ';lost'; things but let her know you can't run there everytime she misplaces something. good luck also offer to help her organize while you're there and see if that helps!!!!
hey kool i was an exchange student to xD well i think u should go to clean her house because shes your host mother so at least you should help but if she blames you again one more time you shouldnt help anymore k thats my advice :)
You sound like a really good person.


And it's nice of you to help your friend clean her house.


But maybe it would be better if you just went there to visit with her and be her friend.


Not to clean her house.


That way she could not become upset with you.


If she needs help with housework, she could easily hire a maid every once in awhile.


Good luck, sweetie.
When you clean her house maybe you should have her watch you or tell you where she might want to put her belongings at. Since she is such a nice person you still probably want to remain friendly, just try to include her in the cleaning and organizing so she won't blame you.





Good luck!
It's her house, if she likes it messy, you should respect that.
I got into a similar situation, and I kept going over to her house and cleaning it. It ended when she accused me of stealing things from her. I never went back, of course, she told anyone that would listen.





I would suggest that you not help her clean, if she wants to live in her own filth, let her.